Transcripts/The Cutie Map - Part 1


 * Spike: [snoring]

Twilight Sparkle: [snoring]

Mane Six except Twilight Sparkle: [snoring]

Spike: [snoring]
 * Twilight Sparkle: [snoring]
 * [splat]

Mane Six except Twilight Sparkle: [snoring]

[rumbling]

Spike: Dah! What's happening?! [whimpers]
 * Spike: [groans] Is that new? I like it.


 * [theme song]


 * Spike: This is incredible! It's got all of Equestria!

Version 2

 * Spike: This is incredible! It's got all of Equestria! and a whole bunch more!

Resuming

 * Pinkie Pie: Hi, Mom and Dad!
 * [stomp]
 * [shimmering]
 * Pinkie Pie: [giggles]
 * Fluttershy: But if this is Ponyville, why are our cutie marks over there?
 * Twilight Sparkle: I don't know. But it seems like the map wants us to find out. The Tree, the chest, this castle, and now the map. How can we not follow it?
 * Rainbow Dash: Y'know what? There's a ton of room for dangerous adventure along that route. Count me in!
 * Applejack: Aw, shoot, I reckon you're right.
 * Pinkie Pie: Well, I was planning on organizing my baking sheets, but okay!
 * Rarity: [sighs] Very well.
 * [beat]
 * Fluttershy: Um, maybe I'll just stay here with Spike.
 * Spike: Awesome! Me and Big Mac have a huge weekend ahead of us talkin' hoofball, and... and trading hoofball cards, and arguing about hoofball stats...
 * Fluttershy: O-o-on second thought, m-m-maybe I'd better go with them. In case they need me.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Looks like it's time for a road trip.
 * Spike: Well, suit yourself. But he's got a Hock Fetlock rookie card I plan to sweet-talk right into these hot little claws.

Spike: Yeeeees! Go easy on me. I'm under a lot of pressure.


 * [train engine chuffing]
 * [brakes squealing]


 * Twilight Sparkle: That's it! That's the place on the map!
 * Rarity: Right. Let's get down there and find the spa.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Wait. We don't know why the map sent us here. We shouldn't just walk right in. It could be dangerous.
 * Rainbow Dash: Yes!
 * Pinkie Pie: Stay behind me, everypony! I'm on it!
 * Applejack: Careful, Pinkie!
 * Pinkie Pie: [grunts]
 * [thud, scraping noises]
 * Rainbow Dash: This is where the map sent us? It looks like the most boring place in Equestria.
 * Applejack: It's just an ordinary village full of ordinary pony folk.
 * Rarity: It could certainly use a few more architectural flourishes. Or any architectural flourishes.
 * Fluttershy: I think it's lovely.
 * Pinkie Pie: I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. I know smiles. And those smiles? They're just not right.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Forget the smiles. Look at the cutie marks.
 * Rainbow Dash: Okay, that's weird.


 * Twilight Sparkle: An entire village with the same cutie mark? How can that be?
 * Rainbow Dash: I bet there's some sort of horrific monster behind it.
 * Twilight Sparkle: What makes you say that?
 * Rainbow Dash: 'Cause fighting a horrific monster would be super-awesome!
 * Applejack: I reckon we just ought to head into town and talk to some locals, find out what's goin' on.
 * Rainbow Dash: Great idea, AJ. Let's go!
 * Pinkie Pie: Those smiles are bad news.


 * "Sunny Song": Welcome!
 * S05E01 Unnamed Pegasus Mare #3: Welcome!
 * S05E01 Unnamed Unicorn Stallion #3: Welcome!
 * "Bacon Braids": Welcome!
 * S05E01 Unnamed Unicorn Stallion #2: Welcome!
 * "Offbeat": Welcome!
 * S05E01 Unnamed Unicorn Filly #1, Cotton Cloudy, "Princess Erroria", and "Ruby Pinch": Welcome!
 * Fluttershy: This must be the most pleasant place in Equestria!
 * Night Glider: Welcome!
 * Fluttershy: [giggles]
 * Rainbow Dash: Ugh. Thanks a lot, map.
 * Party Favor: Welcome! Pardon my forwardness, but are you an Alicorn?
 * Applejack: That there's the Princess of Friendship!
 * Party Favor: Well, you've certainly come to the right place for friendship.
 * Double Diamond: What brings you to town?
 * Twilight Sparkle: We're not entirely sure.
 * Double Diamond: I see. Well, all are welcome here in our little village. My name is Double Diamond, and this is Party Favor.
 * Applejack: Howdy, Double Diamond. I'm Applejack, and this here's Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle.
 * Double Diamond: And you all have your own unique cutie marks.
 * Twilight Sparkle: If you don't mind, has there been any sort of... trouble here, lately?
 * Double Diamond: Trouble? Why, I don't think we've ever had trouble in our little village.
 * Party Favor: It's true. You'll see. Hm.
 * Double Diamond: Perhaps you'd care to speak to our founder Starlight Glimmer.
 * Fluttershy: I wish everypony in Equestria was as friendly as these ponies are.
 * Pinkie Pie: I've got my eye on them. Something's rotten in... whatever the name of this village is that we're in right now!
 * [knocking]
 * Double Diamond: Starlight, we have some new visitors.
 * Rainbow Dash: [to Applejack] Be ready to fight. We don't know what's gonna come through that door.
 * Starlight Glimmer: Welcome! I'm so pleased to have you here.
 * Rainbow Dash: [groans]
 * Double Diamond: This is Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle.
 * Starlight Glimmer: Forgive my bluntness, but I'm assuming it's Princess Twilight Sparkle? We don't get many Alicorns around here.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Yes, but "Twilight" is fine.
 * Starlight Glimmer: So! How did you hear of our little village?
 * Twilight Sparkle: It's kind of a long story. Let's just say we found it on a map.
 * Pinkie Pie: Technically, it's a Tree-chest-castle-map!
 * Starlight Glimmer: Well, however you found us, we're happy to have you! We're happy to have anypony who wants to experience true friendship for the first time.
 * Applejack: Say what?
 * Starlight Glimmer: Oh, indeed. That's what's so unique about our village, you see. Around here, we don't flaunt our special talents because we don't have any special talents to flaunt.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Is that why you all have those cutie marks?
 * Starlight Glimmer: Perhaps it would be easier to understand if I gave you a tour of the village!
 * [marching drum cadence]
 * Starlight Glimmer: Heads high, ponies! Marching proud! [whistle blows] All together now! Every one of you! No pony left behind!
 * Starlight Glimmer: Heads high, ponies! Marching proud! [whistle blows] All together now! Every one of you! No pony left behind!


 * Life is so grand in Our Town
 * We're always filled with cheer
 * We never have to look around
 * To know that we're all here


 * [Citizens]
 * In Our Town, in Our Town
 * We don't have to wait
 * To find out that our destiny
 * Is just to emulate


 * Starlight Glimmer: Let's see those big, happy smiles!


 * Life is a smile in Our Town
 * Our cutie mark's the same
 * Because we do not separate
 * Ourselves by more than name


 * [Citizens]
 * In Our Town, in Our Town
 * We dare not compete
 * Winning only breeds the worst
 * Ego-filled conceit


 * Starlight Glimmer: You see? Now everypony wins!


 * Life is a joy in Our Town
 * We're all equal here
 * No one is superior
 * And no one shakes in fear


 * [Citizens]
 * In Our Town, in Our Town
 * We work as a team
 * You can't have a nightmare
 * If you never dream


 * [Starlight Glimmer]
 * Other ponies argue
 * Do you ever wonder why?
 * When you think your talent's special
 * You don't see eye-to-eye


 * There's just too many differences
 * That lead to disarray
 * But when you learn to act as one
 * It's like a holiday


 * [Citizens]
 * In Our Town, in Our Town
 * We don't complicate
 * When you learn to simplify
 * Life is oh, so great


 * Join in our utopia
 * Come out of the dark
 * Banded by equality
 * By our cutie mark!
 * Rainbow Dash: [laughing] You're kidding, right? Give up our cutie marks? No way!
 * Fluttershy: Rainbow Dash, don't be so rude. I don't think we should judge them. They all seem perfectly happy with their choice.
 * Pinkie Pie: Don't believe their smiles, Fluttershy.
 * Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, I guess we're just a little confused by all of this.
 * Starlight Glimmer: We have no judgements here in our village. Each of us was confused once as well, blinded by the false promise of our cutie marks.
 * Rainbow Dash: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is she for real?
 * Twilight Sparkle: When we were sent to this village, we assumed it was to help in some way. But, well, it doesn't seem like you need any help.
 * Starlight Glimmer: Have you considered perhaps that you might have been sent here so we could help you? After all, nopony has ever come to our village and wanted to leave. Why should you be any different? But that is entirely your choice. Please enjoy our little corner of Equestria. We're all quite fond of it. No doubt you will be as well. Double Diamond, please help our guests with whatever they might need.
 * Double Diamond: Of course.
 * Starlight Glimmer: Well, this will certainly provide a boost to our little community. When the rest of Equestria sees that a princess gave up her cutie mark to join us, they'll finally understand what we're trying to accomplish.


 * S05E01 Unnamed Unicorn Stallion #3: Welcome!
 * "Ivy Vine": Welcome!
 * "Sunny Song": Welcome!
 * Twilight Sparkle: A cutie mark is a representation of a pony's unique talents and skills. How is it possible to—
 * Rarity: [gasps] What in the name of Equestria is that?!
 * "Burlap": Welcome! Care to sample some local fashion? We've got cloaks this month!
 * Rarity: [gagging] Wha— Ooh, er, perhaps another time, good sir, thank you. [whispering] No wonder nopony's wearing anything!
 * Fluttershy: [hushed] Really, girls! They may do things a bit differently than we're used to, but that's no reason to be rude.
 * Rainbow Dash: [hushed] No, the reason to be rude is that they all keep staring at us!
 * Double Diamond: Need something?
 * Twilight Sparkle: Uh, no! We're good! [hushed] Fluttershy's right. If we're going to get to the bottom of why the map sent us here, we'll need the help of these ponies.
 * Applejack: I think we ran off to the end of Equestria before we even knew what that map was!
 * Pinkie Pie: If we were at the end of Equestria, we'd be sitting on a big 'A'! [giggles] Get it?
 * Rarity: Oh, please, Miss Pie! This is hardly the time for jokes! We've come all this way and for what?
 * Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Maybe you're right. But we're here now, and it sure feels like something's wrong.
 * Applejack: That and two bits'll get you a cup of cider.
 * Sugar Belle: Is this a bad time?
 * Fluttershy: We shouldn't be bickering like this in front of our new friends. Really, Applejack, you're almost as bad as Rainbow Dash!
 * Rainbow Dash: Don't drag me into this!
 * Sugar Belle: Is your friendship ending?
 * Pinkie Pie: Are you crazy?! We'd never let a disagreement get in the way of food!
 * Sugar Belle: O-kay, well, my name is Sugar Belle. What can I bring you? We have: muffins...
 * [long beat]
 * Twilight Sparkle: Then I guess we'll take six muffins!
 * Pinkie Pie: Make that twelve! What? I'm hungry!
 * Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Come on, girls. We've got to stick together. It doesn't matter what happened before, we're here now.
 * Applejack: I guess you're right. And the sooner we figure out why, the sooner we can go home.
 * Sugar Belle: Forgive me for overhearing, but just a moment ago you were disagreeing, and now it sounds like you're... agreeing.
 * Applejack: Uh-huh...
 * Sugar Belle: Well, you had such differing opinions – and cutie marks.
 * Rarity: We have differing opinions all the time, darling.
 * Sugar Belle: But you look like you're friends.
 * Twilight Sparkle: We are friends. A simple disagreement wouldn't change that.
 * Sugar Belle: I'm sorry, I'm just having a hard time understanding. Different talents lead to different opinions, which lead to bitterness and misery. So... why aren't you bitter and...?
 * Pinkie Pie: [choking] Blech! Mmmm... good...
 * Sugar Belle: It's all right. I know I'm not a very good baker. At least, I know I'm not any better than anypony else in the village. Well, I... hope you enjoy our little village!
 * Pinkie Pie: [hacking]
 * Sugar Belle: [hushed] Come inside before you go! Meet me downstairs!
 * Rainbow Dash: Okay, that was weird too.
 * Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Let's all sit here and eat these muffins and act normal. I think we're being watched.
 * [scissors snipping]
 * Rainbow Dash: You think?
 * Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] No, not like that! I mean somepony here doesn't want us talking to Sugar Belle.
 * Double Diamond: [chomp]
 * Applejack: I got an idea. But you gotta eat all of them muffins, Pinkie.
 * Pinkie Pie: Me?! Why me?!
 * Applejack: [hushed] You got a stronger stomach than any of us, and that filly in there might be our best chance at findin' out what the hay is goin' on round here.


 * Pinkie Pie: [chomping]
 * Applejack: [stilted] I can't believe you ate all our muffins, Pinkie Pie! We'd best go inside and get some more!
 * Twilight Sparkle: Nice work, Pinkie.
 * [thumps and honks]
 * Pinkie Pie: I've accidentally eaten cardboard tastier than that...
 * Twilight Sparkle: Hello? Sugar Belle?
 * Sugar Belle: Thank you for coming!
 * Twilight Sparkle: Why did you want us to come down here?
 * Sugar Belle: So nopony could see what's about to happen.
 * Party Favor: Are you really the Princess of Friendship?
 * Night Glider: Do you know Princess Celestia?
 * Sugar Belle: I love your cutie mark!
 * Night Glider: How can you be friends with different cutie marks? Don't you end up hating each other?
 * Sugar Belle: Oh, look at this one! This one's great too! I'd love to have my special talent back even just for a day! Make something besides those disgusting muffins...
 * Rainbow Dash: So what's stopping you? Go get your cutie marks back.
 * Party Favor: Daydreaming is one thing, but you mean actually having it put back on? That seems extreme.
 * Sugar Belle: I'm not sure Starlight would like that. She wants us all to be happy in our sameness.
 * Twilight Sparkle: How do you take somepony's cutie mark anyway?
 * Night Glider: The cutie unmarking is a beautiful experience! Starlight uses the Staff of Sameness to magically take them away and replace them with these.
 * Twilight Sparkle: But nopony should keep you from your cutie mark. It represents such an essential part of who you are.
 * Night Glider: Oh, we're not kept from them. They're in the vault up in the caves. We can visit them any time we like to remind us of the heartache of a life with special talents.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Can we visit this cave?


 * Starlight Glimmer: I'm delighted you're interested in our cutie mark vault. We hope someday every pony in Equestria will make a pilgrimage here to our little village to have theirs removed too, and our message of [continues under] perfectly equal friendship can finally spread across the land.
 * Twilight Sparkle: [hushed, over] This must be the reason we're here.
 * Pinkie Pie: [hushed, over] "Pilgrimaging"?
 * Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] No, helping those ponies get their cutie marks back.
 * Fluttershy: [hushed] Oh, are you sure, Twilight? Maybe they miss them a little, but even they didn't seem all that unhappy.
 * Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Then why did they want to meet us in secret? And why did they ask us not to tell Starlight who told us about the vault? Something's not right.
 * Starlight Glimmer: Just through here! Behold! Our cutie mark vault!
 * Twilight Sparkle: I've never seen anything like it!
 * Starlight Glimmer: And here is the Staff of Sameness. It was one of the great Mage Meadowbrook's nine enchanted items. We are incredibly fortunate to have it here. This is the tool that allows us to free ourselves from our marks! I'm curious – how did the subject of the vault come up?
 * Pinkie Pie: Oh, some ponies were telling us how much they missed their cutie marks, and—
 * Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie!
 * Pinkie Pie: Oops...
 * Starlight Glimmer: [gasps] Were they? Well, it seems you inspire all sorts of free thinking, don't you?
 * Rarity: [laughs nervously] Well, w-we certainly didn't intend to cause any disruptions to your charming little—
 * Starlight Glimmer: Good. Let's just make sure of that, shall we?
 * Twilight Sparkle: It's a trap!
 * [magic zaps]
 * Twilight Sparkle: [groaning]
 * Rest of main cast: [groaning]
 * Starlight Glimmer: Aw. I don't blame you for what you tried to do here today. You've spent your whole lives thinking those marks are a good thing.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Give them back!
 * Starlight Glimmer: Well, now you can spend the rest of your lives here with us! And we'll teach you just how much better life can be without your cutie marks!
 * [To be continued...]


 * [credits]