Transcripts/Bats!


 * Applejack: Any minute now...
 * [rooster crowing]
 * Applejack: Yee-haw! It's officially Apple Bucking Day! Look at all those apples! Ripe and juicy, perfect for buckin'! [grunts]
 * [angelic music]
 * [splat]
 * Applejack: What the heck is goin' on? [gasps] They're back!
 * [bats chittering]


 * [theme song]


 * [bell ringing]
 * Applejack: Attention! This is a Sweet Apple Acres code red! I need all hooves – and claws – on deck!
 * Rarity: Calm down, Applejack.
 * Applejack: Calm down?! How can I calm down at a time like this?! Vampire fruit bats are attackin' Sweet Apple Acres!
 * Twilight Sparkle: But I thought the fruit bats usually stayed put in the west orchard.
 * Applejack: The fruit bats do, but these aren't just your everyday ordinary fruit bats. They're vampire fruit bats! I'll be darned if they think they're gonna sink their fangs into my blue ribbon apple.
 * Rest of main cast: [Wow, etc.]
 * Spike: Awesome!
 * Applejack: This here's our entry into the Appleloosa State Fair's produce competition. [exhales] You know how much TLC goes into getting an apple to grow like this?
 * Rarity: Applejack! When you go big, you really go big!
 * Applejack: Them vampire bats want to shrivel it up like a raisin!
 * Fluttershy: Oh, I'm sure if we just let them know how special that particular apple is to you, they'll leave it alone.
 * Applejack: Yeah, right. Be my guest.


 * [bats chittering quietly]
 * Fluttershy: Um, excuse me, Mr. Vampire Bat--
 * [splat]
 * Fluttershy: We were just wondering if maybe you wouldn't mind leaving that really big apple alone?
 * [seeds hammering]
 * Fluttershy: [gasps]
 * Applejack: Well? What'd he say?
 * Fluttershy: Um... yes.
 * Applejack: Huh?!
 * Fluttershy: But... it could've been a no.
 * Applejack: Oh.
 * Fluttershy: This is the first vampire fruit bat I've ever met and, well, it might take some time for me to really understand their language.
 * Applejack: Uh-huh. And in the meantime, this pest and his vermin friends are gonna go after my prized apple and, while they're at it, every other apple in the orchard! These vampire bats are nothin' but a bunch of monsters!
 * Fluttershy: Monsters?! Oh, that's a bit harsh, don't you think?
 * Applejack: No, I do not.


 * [Applejack]
 * Those vampire bats will give you a fright
 * Eating apples both day and night
 * They rest for a minute, maybe three
 * Then they're eatin' every apple in your apple tree


 * They don't care about nada, not zilch, no, nothin'
 * 'Cept bringin' about an orchard's destruction


 * [Fluttershy]
 * Now wait just a minute, there's another side to this
 * And if I did not defend them, then I would be remiss
 * These bats are mamas and papas too
 * They care for their young just like we ponies do


 * [Applejack]
 * Oh, give me a break, you're bein' too kind
 * These creatures have a one-track mind
 * The orchard is not their restaurant
 * But do they ever think what others may want?
 * No! They don't! And that is just a fact
 * These bats, they simply don't know how to act


 * [Fluttershy]
 * That's where I have to disagree
 * They're loyal to their family
 * Spreading seeds both far and wide


 * [Applejack]
 * You see one comin', you'd better run and hide!
 * They're big and ugly and mean as sin
 * Will ya look at the state my trees are in?


 * [Fluttershy]
 * They help your trees, they'll grow stronger faster


 * [Applejack]
 * They've turned my life to a total disaster!


 * [Rarity]
 * Well, I for one don't have a doubt
 * These vermin must be stamped right out


 * [Rainbow Dash]
 * I second that, they've got to go
 * These bats, they've got to hit the road


 * [Applejack]
 * It comes down to just one simple fact
 * They've crossed the line, it's time to fight them back!


 * [All except Fluttershy]
 * Stop the bats! Stop the bats!
 * Make them go and not come back!
 * Stop the bats! Stop the bats!
 * Make them go and not come back!
 * Stop the bats! Stop the bats!
 * Make them go and not come back!


 * [Applejack]
 * Yes, it comes down to just one simple fact
 * They've crossed the line, it's time that we attack!
 * Rarity: I'm sorry, Fluttershy, but I believe Applejack has made the better argument. These vampire fruit bats sound downright dreadful.
 * Applejack: So let's get to roundin' them up so they don't destroy the rest of my orchard.
 * Pinkie Pie: [to the tune of Winter Wrap Up] Fruit bat round-up, fruit bat round-up!
 * Fluttershy: Um, excuse me, but, um, what if instead of rounding them up, we... let them have part of the orchard?
 * Applejack: [whinny] Have you lost your pest-lovin' mind?!
 * Fluttershy: They're only here because they're hungry! If we build a sanctuary for them, they could have their own apples to enjoy! After a while, they could even help the rest of your orchard! The vampire bats don't eat the seeds of the apples, and when they spit them out, they grow into even more productive apple trees!
 * Applejack: Listen, Fluttershy. That sounds real nice 'n' all, but every second we spend buildin' this so-called 'sanctuary' is a second they'll spend destroyin' orchards! You don't know what it was like the last time there was an infestation, but Granny Smith has told me enough stories about it that just the thought of it gives me nightmares! [narrating] Granny says we lost a huge section of orchard that year. They had to ration out apples all winter!
 * Rainbow Dash: What about the cider? There was still cider, right?
 * Applejack: Not...a...drop.
 * Rainbow Dash: No cider?! No cider?! We need to round up these monsters, and we need to do it now!
 * Applejack: If Granny Smith wasn't with Apple Bloom an' Big Mac checkin' out our produce competition in Appleloosa, she'd be here tellin' us to do just that!
 * Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, Fluttershy, but I think Applejack is right. I just wish there was another way we could convince them not to eat them in the first place. Maybe there is...!


 * Twilight Sparkle: So, there's good news and bad news. The good news is that I found a spell that can get the vampire fruit bats to stop wanting to suck the juice from the apples. But in order for the spell to work, I need the bats' full and complete attention.
 * Fluttershy: [gasps] Oh no.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, I need you to do your Stare on the bats.
 * Fluttershy: Oh, gosh, I don't know.
 * Rainbow Dash: What's the problem? You've used the Stare plenty of times before!
 * Fluttershy: Yes, but it's not something I take lightly. I've made a vow not to use it except in dire circumstances.
 * Applejack: This circumstance is plenty dire to me!
 * Rainbow Dash: Me too! Think of the cider! Won't somepony please think of the cider?!
 * Fluttershy: I'm sorry. I just don't like the idea of taking away the thing that really makes the vampire fruit bats [inhales] vampire fruit bats! It just feels wrong!
 * Twilight Sparkle: But if we don't do this, there won't be any apples left for anypony here in Ponyville. Doesn't that feel wrong, too?


 * Applejack: So what's it gonna be, Fluttershy? Will you do your Stare on the bats or not?
 * Fluttershy: Um... Um... Okay, I'll do it.
 * Rarity: Good choice. I knew you wouldn't side with those icky bats! [whimpers]
 * Fluttershy: They're not icky.
 * Rainbow Dash: First round of cider's on me!
 * Applejack: Hold it right there! We've gotta round up these beasts with wings first. Time's a-wastin'!


 * [bats chittering]
 * Rarity: [muffled] [yelps] Ew, ew, ew, ewwww!
 * [bat gulps and spits]
 * Rainbow Dash: Gotcha!
 * Pinkie Pie: [giggles]
 * Rarity: [screams]
 * Applejack: Good work, everypony! I think we got 'em all! [to Fluttershy] Now all we need is for you do to your Stare.
 * Fluttershy: Oh, um, are you sure I really need-- Okay. I really, really, really hate to do this to you... I just hope you can forgive me...
 * [bats hissing]
 * Applejack: Good... Now you go, Twilight!
 * Twilight Sparkle: Alright.
 * [magic humming]
 * Twilight Sparkle: You can stop staring, Fluttershy.
 * Spike: Did it work?
 * Applejack: Only one way to find out for sure.
 * [bat sniffing, chittering]
 * Rainbow Dash: Ye-he-heah, whoo!
 * Applejack: My crop is saved! Yee-haw!
 * Rainbow Dash: We'll be drinking cider all winter long!
 * Applejack: I wanna thank you for your help. I couldn't have done it without you.
 * Spike: Aw, don't mention it, Applejack. It was my pleasure! Really!
 * Applejack: Now all we gotta do is sweep up these cores so I can start buckin' fresh tomorrow mornin'!
 * Fluttershy: [sniffs]


 * Applejack: Apple Bucking Day, take two!
 * [rooster crowing]
 * Applejack: Yee-haw! Time to collect those juicy, sweet apples! [grunts]
 * [splat]


 * Twilight Sparkle: The spell didn't work!
 * Applejack: You're darn tootin' the spell didn't work! I think we're gonna have to take more extreme measures!
 * Rainbow Dash: I hear ya, Applejack! C'mon, everypony! Let's track down those vampire bats!
 * [bats chittering]
 * [splat]
 * Applejack: Wait a minute... I don't think these bats are the ones that sucked my apples dry.
 * Rarity: But if the vampire bats aren't eating your apples...
 * Twilight Sparkle: Who is? Fluttershy, you're our animal expert. Do you know of any other creature that might be capable of this?
 * Fluttershy: I'm sorry. I don't.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Well, there's only one way to find out. We'll have to catch whoever it is in the act.
 * Rarity: And how do you propose we do that?
 * Twilight Sparkle: A stakeout...!


 * Rainbow Dash: [spookily] The witching hour...
 * [owl hoots]
 * Fluttershy: Maybe we should just call this off. Not sure about the rest of you guys, [entranced] but I'm really hungry... [drip, drip, gulp]
 * Rarity: Oh, Fluttershy, it'll be okay. Don't forget, darling, we're all in this together.
 * Twilight Sparkle: That's right. Nopony leaves this orchard until we've solved this mystery. Agreed?
 * Rest of main cast: Agreed!
 * Applejack: Does everypony have their pony signals? Now remember, Pinkie Pie, only use the signal if you see somethin' suspicious.
 * Pinkie Pie: I got it. Something suspicious...
 * Fluttershy: [sniffing]
 * Pinkie Pie: Whatcha doin'?!
 * Applejack: Alright, now everypony split up. We'll each patrol our own row of the orchard. Whoever or whatever's destroyin' my apples has gotta be here somewhere.
 * Fluttershy: I have a bad feeling about this. A really bad feeling about this... That apple... It looks... [entranced] so juicy... and sweet... [slurps]


 * [biting]
 * Pinkie Pie: What was that?! [gasps] Suspicious! [giggles] It's pony signal time!


 * Rarity: Who's there? Oh, well, there's obviously no need to worry about that shadowy figure overhead... [frightened] Or maybe there is! I think I'll just go see how Rainbow Dash is doing...


 * Rainbow Dash: Uh... who's there? Answer me or you'll regret it! Fine, have it your own way! Take that, you, you, you... scarecrow... Oh.
 * [rustling]


 * [owl hoots]
 * Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
 * [slurping]
 * Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, what is it?
 * Pinkie Pie: Suspicious!
 * Fluttershy: [hisses]


 * Fluttershy: [slurps]
 * Pinkie Pie: Fluttershy? Yoo-hoo! Fluttershy!
 * Fluttershy: [hisses]
 * Rarity: That's not Fluttershy... That's Flutterbat!
 * Twilight Sparkle: We've gotta get her down from there!
 * Rarity: Uh... Fluttershy, sweetness, please come down, and... do stop being a vampire bat.
 * Fluttershy: [hisses] [slurps]
 * Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy! It's me, Rainbow Dash! Why don't you cut the bat act and come on down?!
 * Fluttershy: [hisses]
 * Rainbow Dash: [yelps] Whoa! Maybe we should just let her come down when she's ready.
 * Pinkie Pie: Flutterbat on the loose! Run for your lives!
 * Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, calm down! See? She's back on her... branch.
 * Pinkie Pie: She's just biding her time! Waiting for the right moment to pounce!
 * Applejack: Pinkie Pie, bats don't eat ponies. Not even vampire bats.
 * Pinkie Pie: But maybe vampire ponies eat other ponies! I'm not taking any chances!
 * Rarity: How did this happen? That's what I don't understand.
 * Twilight Sparkle: I think this was actually our fault.
 * Rainbow Dash: Our fault?
 * Applejack: And how'd you figure that?
 * [magic humming, synth-electronic noises]
 * Twilight Sparkle: Okay, so this is me, these are the bats, and this is Fluttershy doing her Stare. The spell was supposed to go right onto the bats like this, but somehow the spell must have backfired. It took the vampire fruit bats' desire to be vampire fruit bats and transferred that desire into Fluttershy. C'mon! We'll reverse the spell and make it right!
 * Pinkie Pie: Then what are we waiting for? Let's save Fluttershy before that thing eats us all!
 * Rainbow Dash: Hit the deck!
 * Rest of main cast: [yelps]
 * Pinkie Pie: Follow that bat!


 * Rarity: I can't believe we lost her!
 * Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Fluttershy, where are you?
 * Fluttershy: [hisses] [slurps]
 * Applejack: Look out! Whoa!
 * Rainbow Dash: If she keeps this up, your whole crop will be gone in no time!
 * Applejack: That's the least of my worries. I just want my friend back.
 * Twilight Sparkle: We'll never get her back unless we corner her and catch her so I can reverse the spell!


 * [wolf howling]
 * Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] There she is!
 * Fluttershy: [hisses]
 * Applejack: There she goes!
 * Twilight Sparkle: Oh, this is no use. I think the only way we're gonna catch her is if we find a way to lure her closer to us.
 * Applejack: But even if we can lure her to us, how're we gonna get her to stay still long enough for you to do your reverse spell?
 * Pinkie Pie: Aww, if only we had Fluttershy to do her Stare on the Flutterbat.
 * Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] That's it!


 * Twilight Sparkle: Okay, let's get our friend back. Action stations!
 * Rainbow Dash: So much for having the winning apple in the Appleloosa State Fair, huh?
 * Applejack: [sighs]
 * [juice leaking]
 * Fluttershy: [sniffs] [hisses]
 * Rainbow Dash: [hushed] She's coming!
 * Fluttershy: [hisses]
 * [magic humming]
 * Fluttershy: Oh... where am I?
 * Rest of main cast: [cheering]
 * Applejack: Thank goodness you're okay!
 * Fluttershy: But... what happened to me?
 * Pinkie Pie: You turned into a vampire pony!
 * Fluttershy: [gasps] I tried to eat ponies?!
 * Pinkie Pie: Of course not!
 * Fluttershy: So I wasn't a vampire?
 * Pinkie Pie: Yes!
 * Fluttershy: Yes I was, or yes I wasn't?
 * Pinkie Pie: Yes, you were!
 * Fluttershy: But I didn't try and eat ponies?
 * Pinkie Pie: Yes!
 * Fluttershy: I did?!
 * Pinkie Pie: No!
 * Fluttershy: I'm confused...
 * Rarity: Me too... and I was there!


 * [bats chittering]
 * [sign creaking]
 * Applejack: Fluttershy, I'm real sorry I didn't take your suggestion in the first place.
 * Fluttershy: And don't forget, now you'll get seeds that will grow into even bigger and better apple trees.
 * Rainbow Dash: Does that mean what I think it means?
 * Applejack: Yup! More cider too.
 * Rainbow Dash: Yea-he-heah, whoo!


 * Spike: Okay, got the part about the spell, Fluttershy turning into a bat, building a sanctuary...
 * Applejack: Be sure to put in there that I came to see that my short-term solution was a little short-sighted.
 * Fluttershy: And that you shouldn't let anypony pressure you into doing something that you don't think is right. Sometimes you have to tell even your closest friends 'no'.
 * Applejack: Now, how about we celebrate our stronger than ever friendship with a nice, ripe, juicy apple?
 * Pinkie Pie: [fake accent] Stand back! I vant to suck its juuuice! [squee]
 * Main cast: [laughing]