Transcripts/Road to Friendship


 * Starlight Glimmer: [dramatically] I don't know, folks. She's been in there a long time!
 * (audience gasps)
 * Flurry Heart: [whimpers]
 * Starlight Glimmer: Do you suppose the Terrifying Trunk Escape is too much for her?! What if the Great and Powerful Trixie can't—?!
 * [poof]
 * Trixie: Escape?!

(audience gasps)
 * Starlight Glimmer: But if you're there, who's in here?
 * [poof]
 * Trixie: Why, our volunteer, of course!
 * Granny Smith: [coughs] Crabapple surprise! You shoulda oughta tell a pony before ya go a-poofin' 'em around the stage!

(The audience cheers and chants Starlight & Trixie's name again.)


 * Twilight Sparkle: Trixie, that was an amazing show!
 * Princess Cadance: Flurry Heart and I loved it! I'm so glad we decided to come. You two have a real chemistry.
 * Trixie: The Terrifying Trunk Escape does require a grrrreat and powerful assistant.
 * Princess Cadance: The way you two work together, it's like you've known each other as long as Twilight and I have.
 * Starlight Glimmer: It was pretty fun.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Of course it was! There's nothing better than a bond with another pony. You can share all kinds of things.
 * Twilight Sparkle and Princess Cadance: Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake! [giggle]
 * Starlight Glimmer: I think we'll stick to the stage magic for now.
 * Trixie: The Great and Powerful Trixie doesn't chant.


 * [theme song]


 * Trixie: [sighs] As much as I love my one-pony show, it's always nice to come to Ponyville and perform with my great and powerful assistant. Cadance is right. We do work well together!
 * Starlight Glimmer: Doing a show with you is almost as much fun as counseling students at Twilight's school! [gasps] Which I'm supposed to be doing right now!
 * [teleportation zap]
 * Starlight Glimmer: See ya later.
 * [teleportation zap]
 * [door jiggles]
 * [thud]
 * Hoo'Far: Excuse me, Ms. Powerful...
 * Trixie: [giggles] Usually, ponies just call me Trixie. But "Ms. Powerful" has a nice ring.
 * Hoo'Far: From here to Saddle Arabia, I have seen nothing that compares with your wondrous show. Uh, would you consider blessing my homeland with it?
 * Trixie: I was just about to set out on tour. [grunts] But Saddle Arabia is much farther than my usual route. [grunts] Ugh!
 * [thud]
 * Trixie: [laughs] And, uh, my caravan might not be suited for an extended tour.
 * Hoo'Far: Mine is new and quite spacious. If it would help persuade you, I would happily trade it for yours.
 * Trixie: Trade it?! Heavens, no! This is more than just some great and powerful wagon you see before you! It is shelter. It is transportation. It is my only friend on the long and lonely nights on the road.
 * Hoo'Far: Very well. Then I must see as many of your performances as I can. If I cannot convince you to bring your tour to Saddle Arabia, I must be prepared to relate its magnificence to your many fans there.
 * Trixie: "Many fans", you say? [laughs] Well, I suppose I could consider the trip.
 * Hoo'Far: Wonderful! I look forward to seeing you on the road! And if you change your mind about the caravans, my offer remains open.
 * Trixie: Hmmm...


 * Trixie: It's just so far away. Of course, I love visiting new and exciting places. I am a traveling magician after all.
 * Starlight Glimmer: Hmmm. Sounds like your mind's made up.
 * Trixie: Not quite. The road is a lonely place. And this trip even more so. I was hoping I might convince my grrrrreat and powerful assistant to come along?
 * Starlight Glimmer: Really?
 * Trixie: Of course! You're not just my assistant and my counselor. You're also my friend. And what's better than a road trip with friends?
 * Starlight Glimmer: Nothing! This will be the best magical road trip ever!
 * [doors open]
 * Starlight Glimmer: I should probably get somepony to cover my student counseling duties while we're gone.


 * [clattering]
 * [knocking]
 * Starlight Glimmer: Trixie, are you all right?
 * [door opens]
 * Trixie: One caravan for two all set! Oh. You brought luggage. [nervous laugh] I mean, of course you brought luggage!
 * Starlight Glimmer: You bet I did! Everything two ponies need for the road trip of their lives! Three one-thousand-piece puzzles, one copy of Dragon Pit – the best board game in the history of ponies – my famous collection of campfire spices, and an inflatable raft. Did I forget something? I could pop back to the castle and grab it.
 * Trixie: Oh, no. It isn't that.
 * Starlight Glimmer: Yeah, maybe we don't need the raft.


 * Trixie: [sighs] We just needed a little great and powerful rrrrreorganization! [struggling] Now, everything... fits.. just... fine!
 * [crash]
 * Trixie: [sighs] Who am I kidding? My wagon is too small for us. I understand if you're having second thoughts.
 * Starlight Glimmer: Second thoughts? [scoffs] Are you kidding? This wagon isn't small. It's... eh... cozy. And there's no such thing as too cozy.
 * Trixie: Well, all right then! I guess it's time to hit the road! [struggling] I'll... start us off...
 * [crash]
 * [door closes]
 * [rattle]
 * [poof!]
 * Starlight Glimmer: [coughs] Okay. Maybe there is such a thing as too cozy.


 * Trixie: You're sure you wouldn't rather ride?
 * [rattle]
 * [poof!]
 * Starlight Glimmer: I'm sure.
 * Trixie: And you're not backing out? The two of us sleeping in that cozy caravan could get tricky.
 * Starlight Glimmer: Trixie, there's plenty of high-quality inns to stay at on the way. Don't worry about it. I'm not backing out of the greatest and most powerful road trip bonding experience two ponies could ever have.
 * Trixie: Well, when you put it like that, I'm actually kind of excited!
 * Starlight Glimmer: Me, too! [sighs] Thank goodness we're not like Twilight or the others. They'd probably sing a song about it.


 * [Starlight Glimmer and Trixie]
 * We're off on the road to friendship
 * Our ride might be tiny and small


 * Starlight Glimmer: Beats walking though, eh, Trix?
 * Trxie: I am walking.


 * [Trixie]
 * But road trips are a great way, we've been told, to get along


 * [Starlight Glimmer]
 * I'm glad we're sticking to it, we've already got a song


 * [Starlight Glimmer and Trixie]
 * We're off on the road to friendship
 * Side by side, just like peas in a pod


 * [Trixie]
 * Our bond of friendship is stronger than this tour's demands


 * Hoo'Far: My offer to trade caravans still stands!
 * Starlight Glimmer: Wait, what did he say?
 * Trixie: Nothing!


 * [Starlight Glimmer and Trixie]
 * We're so tight, we can't move around
 * I guess we're stuck together 'cause we're friendship bound


 * Trixie: Sure is great traveling with you, buddy!
 * Starlight Glimmer: You too, buddy!


 * [Starlight Glimmer and Trixie]
 * We're off on the road to friendship


 * Trixie: Yes, we are!


 * [Starlight Glimmer and Trixie]
 * We've each got the other to blame


 * [Starlight Glimmer]
 * Any trip can be exhausting if you make a fuss


 * [Trixie]
 * But we get on so well that's there no way that could be us


 * [Starlight Glimmer and Trixie]
 * We're off on the road to friendship
 * And there's nowhere that we'd rather be


 * Trixie: Was that off-key?


 * [Starlight Glimmer]
 * In summer, winter, spring, and fall, we're friends throughout the year


 * [Trixie]
 * For untold seasons yet to come, our friendship will be here


 * Starlight Glimmer: For nine, at least!


 * [Starlight Glimmer and Trixie]
 * We're so tight, we can't move around


 * Trixie: [quickly] Like a race where you tie your hooves together and you have to move in perfect synchronization to win!


 * [Starlight Glimmer and Trixie]
 * We're friendship boooooound


 * Starlight Glimmer: [quickly] Or like a buddy movie where the two protagonists can't get away from each other because they're wearing hoof-cuffs!


 * [Starlight Glimmer and Trixie]
 * We're friendship boooooound!
 * Starlight Glimmer and Trixie: [laugh]
 * Trixie: Ooh, the marketplace. Perfect! I've learned the hard way that life on the road requires very specific supplies. And we only have so many bits. So we'll have to spend them wise...
 * Starlight Glimmer: [chewing]
 * Trixie: ...ly.


 * Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] Sorry about wasting bits on street food.
 * Trixie: Oh, it's fine. Falafel bonding, right? [laughs] Besides, we still have enough for... haycakes and juice.
 * Starlight Glimmer: Um, why don't we go there?
 * Trixie: Oh, no-no-no. I always buy my haycakes here.
 * Starlight Glimmer: So we're just going to wait in line for hours? Uh, which is totally cool! Waiting-in-line bonding! Right?


 * Trixie: After our falafel purchase, we weren't able to get everything on my list. But we are definitely set for breakfast.
 * Starlight Glimmer: And I'm sure we'll find out that waiting in that super-long line was worth it.
 * Trixie: A few hiccups always happen. We'll be back on the road to friendship after a good night's sleep.
 * Mrs. Trotsworth: We're all full!
 * Starlight Glimmer and Trixie: [gasp]
 * Starlight Glimmer: Uh, I'm sure we'll find something.


 * Tall Pony: Nope.
 * [door closes]


 * Short Pony: Sorry.
 * [curtain draws]


 * Round Pony: All full!
 * [door closes]


 * Hoo'Far: Ah, the Glowpaz Festival. Somnambula is no doubt filled to the brim. Luckily, travelers such as ourselves have our caravans.
 * Trixie: [laughs, to Starlight] You said there'd be plenty of places to stay. "Don't even worry about it," you said. Ya might've thought to make a reservation!
 * Starlight Glimmer: Um, I've been with you singing and standing in line. When would I have done that?
 * Trixie: I don't know. But I'm starting to think you aren't as great and powerful an assistant as I thought!
 * Starlight Glimmer: So you just brought me along to do your legwork?
 * Trixie: [sighs] No. Of course not. I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated. I was really looking forward to a relaxing night in a nice room.
 * Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] Me, too. But since there's literally no room at the inns, I guess it's lucky we've got the wagon.


 * Starlight Glimmer: [unenthusiastically] Sleeping-in-tight-quarters bonding.
 * Starlight Glimmer and Trixie: [unenthusiastically] Yaaaaay.
 * [bumping]
 * Starlight Glimmer: [grunting, groans]
 * Trixie: Is there something I can do to make things more comfortable for you?
 * Starlight Glimmer: You could get rid of this junk.
 * [clattering]
 * Trixie: Yes, well, before we throw away the magical items it's taken me years to collect, we could try switching hammocks.
 * Starlight Glimmer: Fine.
 * [clang]
 * [birds chirping]


 * Starlight Glimmer: [snoring loudly]
 * Trixie: [gasps] Hmm? [whispering] Starlight! Starlight! I think there's a wild animal outside!
 * [thud]
 * Trixie: Starlight?
 * Starlight Glimmer: [continues snoring]
 * Trixie: Starlight!
 * Starlight Glimmer: [startled noises] What?
 * Trixie: I'm sorry. Your snoring is a bit, um...
 * Starlight Glimmer: Loud? [nervous laugh] Yeah, I do that. I had my village convinced we were being attacked by bears every night.
 * [beat]
 * Starlight Glimmer: [laughs, clears throat] But we probably need a better solution here.


 * Trixie: [sleepily muttering] Ladies and gentleponies... Great and Powerful Trixie... amazing feats...
 * Starlight Glimmer: Seriously?!
 * Trixie: [sleepily muttering] Prepare to be amazed...


 * Starlight Glimmer: [munching]
 * [door opens]
 * Trixie: [grumpily] Sleep well?
 * Starlight Glimmer: [grumpily] Sure did.
 * Trixie: Is, uh, that the last of the haycakes?
 * Starlight Glimmer: [chomps] Oh. Yeah. Sorry.
 * Trixie: It's fine.
 * [juice pours]
 * Starlight Glimmer: I don't suppose there's any more juice.
 * [drip]
 * Trixie: [glugs] Ahhh! Nah. I guess we'll have to resupply.
 * [door opens]
 * Hoo'Far: What a glorious morning! I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to the first show of your tour!
 * Starlight Glimmer: Is he gonna be following us for the whole time?!
 * Trixie: I do not know.


 * [crowd murmurs]
 * Starlight Glimmer: [flatly] She's been in there a long time. Do you suppose the Terrifying Trunk Escape is too much for a pony who drinks all the juice and talks non-stop in her sleep?! What if the Great and Powerful Trixie can't...
 * [poof]
 * Trixie: Sleep?! Because her roommate snores like an ursa major?!
 * [crowd murmuring]
 * Starlight Glimmer: [flatly] But if you're there, who's in here?
 * [poof]
 * "Cortland": There's not much room in here!
 * Trixie: At least you don't have to sleep in it with another pony!
 * [fanfare]
 * Hoo'Far: [claps weakly] This show is much better in Ponyville.
 * [crowd murmuring]


 * Trixie: Oh. Would you like the last carrot? I know how fond you are of eating the last of things.
 * Starlight Glimmer: Oh, no. It might make me thirsty, and we don't have anything to drink. So...
 * Trixie: The good news is I'm so exhausted, I could sleep through a stampede of wild boars! Which, you'll be delighted to know, is only slightly louder than your snoring.
 * Starlight Glimmer: Well, I'm looking forward to rehearsing the act with you all night. So diligent of you to go over it and over it in your sleep.
 * Trixie: [through gritted teeth] Practice makes perfect.
 * Starlight Glimmer: Not today, it didn't.
 * Trixie: Well, I'm sorry you're so miserable!
 * Starlight Glimmer: Really?! Because if you wanted to make things more comfortable, you could always pare down a bit!
 * [poof]
 * Trixie: Well, since you're so concerned about space, you can have it all! I'll sleep under the stars, where at least the wild animals will be QUIETER THAN YOU!
 * [door opens]
 * Hoo'Far: I do not mean to interrupt, but it seems there is trouble on the road to friendship.
 * Starlight Glimmer: [derisive laugh] Ya think?!
 * [carrot incinerates]


 * Trixie: [gasps] Where's my wagon?!
 * [door opens]
 * Starlight Glimmer: I traded it to that pony from Saddle Arabia for his. He even threw in a pair of robes.
 * [dramatic sting]


 * Trixie: You what?!
 * Starlight Glimmer: I traded the old, worn-out wagon that was too small for us, for this nice spacious one that we can both enjoy.
 * Trixie: [stammering] Who said you could do that?!
 * Starlight Glimmer: Nopony. I just did it. [sighs] Now we both have plenty of room, and you didn't even have to give anything away.
 * Trixie: Au contraire. I did give something away! I gave away my wagon... and my best friend!
 * [clatter]
 * Starlight Glimmer: Oh! I'm sorry! I didn't realize you were better friends with that beat-up old wagon than you are with me!
 * Trixie: Well, it's easy when the wagon is a better friend! It would've never traded you away!
 * Starlight Glimmer: That's ridiculous.
 * Trixie: Oh, it is ridiculous. In fact, this whole tour is ridiculous! I don't even know why I invited you in the first place!
 * Starlight Glimmer: Well, maybe I should just head home!
 * Trixie: I think that's a very good idea! And you can take this horrible giant caravan with you!
 * Starlight Glimmer: Fine!
 * Trixie: Good!


 * [dragging]
 * [thud]
 * Trixie: [grunting] Come on! Whoa!
 * [door jiggles]
 * Hoo'Far: Goodness! Oh, Ms. Powerful. Eh, but where is your assistant? I had hoped providing you with a more comfortable means of conveyance would allow you to once more dazzle the crowds with mystifying feats of magic.
 * Trixie: Normally, that sort of flattery would suffice. But today, we must discuss your dishonest and unfairprocurement of my wagon!
 * Hoo'Far: I desired your wagon and provided one of equal and better value in return. It seems like a perfectly honest and fair trade to me.
 * Trixie: Unfortunately, it is more nuanced than that!
 * Hoo'Far: I'm sure it is, but I am eager to set out. If you'll excuse me.
 * [whoosh]
 * Hoo'Far: I am willing to wait as long as you are. [sips]
 * Trixie: Ha! We'll just see about that!
 * [music]
 * Hoo'Far: You know, even if I was willing to reverse the trade, you don't have my caravan to offer in return.
 * Trixie: [grumbles] Details!


 * [vines snapping]
 * Starlight Glimmer: [sighs, grunts]
 * [alligator growls]
 * [teleportation zap]
 * Starlight Glimmer: [struggling] You all seemed... a lot less threatening when there were two of us!


 * Starlight Glimmer: [gasps, yells] This place is awful! How did I not see it before?!


 * [hawk cries]
 * "Rainy Day": Hey! It's one of those traveling ponies!
 * "Snow Violet": Your song really inspired us! We decided we need to head off on the road to friendship, too!
 * "Rainy Day": It sure beats the road to deliveries!
 * "Snow Violet": Yeah! Sometimes traveling together is hard!
 * "Rainy Day": You reminded us we could also make it fun! Thanks again! Woo-hoo!
 * "Rainy Day" and "Snow Violet": [laughing]


 * [door opens]
 * Hoo'Far: Steaming hot beverage?
 * Trixie: Thank you. No.
 * [rumbling]
 * Starlight Glimmer: What are you two doing?
 * Trixie: Taking a stand! By lying down! Not that you care, Wagon-Trader-Away-er!
 * Hoo'Far: I'm afraid I'm still not interested, despite your assistant's convenient appearance.
 * Starlight Glimmer: Trixie, I came back to apologize. I should never have traded away the wagon. It wasn't mine to trade. It belongs to my friend.
 * Hoo'Far: Hmmm. If you truly were friends, I suppose I'd be honor-bound to reverse the trade.
 * Trixie: Okay! Fine! We're friends! Best friends who share a deep bond who weren't prepared for the emotional challenges of traveling. Happy?!
 * Hoo'Far: I'm still unconvinced. Perhaps you could prove your friendship.
 * Trixie: How?
 * Starlight Glimmer: Uh, we could do our friendship chant!
 * [beat]
 * Trixie: Oh, right... Our world-famous chant of friendship that we do all the time because we're such great friends.
 * Starlight Glimmer and Trixie: [out of sync] Magic, tra-magic... poof of smoke... want to wave your hooves... and tell a... little joke!
 * [poof]
 * Hoo'Far: [coughs] That was the worst friendship chant I have ever heard! And you two were clearly making it up as you went. But only true friends would be willing to act so ridiculous for one another.
 * Trixie: So you'll give back the wagon?
 * Hoo'Far: Though I'd suggest heading back to Ponyville. I'm not sure Saddle Arabia is ready for... uh, this.
 * Starlight Glimmer: That's fair.


 * Starlight Glimmer: I'm sorry your Saddle Arabian tour was ruined.
 * Trixie: Honestly, I don't think I could've stood one more second on the road. At a certain point, I don't even like traveling with myself.
 * [door opens]
 * [luggage thuds]
 * Starlight Glimmer: It is a lot harder than I thought. Still, I'm glad we tried. Mostly so we know not to do it again.
 * Starlight Glimmer and Trixie: [laugh]
 * Trixie: I think it's made our friendship greater and more powerful than ever!
 * "Cortland": [grumbles] You know, there's actually plenty of room in here for one pony to nap. Is the show over?


 * [credits]