Transcripts/Maud Pie (episode)


 * Applejack: Has anypony heard from Pinkie Pie since yesterday?
 * Rest of main cast: Nuh-uh.
 * Rainbow Dash: [yawns] I don't see what's so important we had to meet her here this early. Celestia hasn't even raised the sun yet!
 * [rooster snores]
 * Twilight Sparkle: I hope everything's okay. [knocks]
 * [muffled crash]
 * Pinkie Pie: Thank goodness you're all here! There's no time to lose!
 * Rarity: Whoa!
 * Fluttershy: Ooh...
 * [door closes, thwack]
 * Rainbow Dash: Ugh! Hey- whoa!
 * [door closes]
 * Pinkie Pie: Careful!
 * Twilight Sparkle: What is all this?
 * Pinkie Pie: My sister Maud's gonna be here soon, and I need your help taste-testing my rock candy recipes!
 * Applejack: Uh, we're happy to help you, Pinkie Pie, but this seems like an awful lot of candy.
 * Rarity: Even for you.
 * Pinkie Pie: I may have gone a teensy bit overboard. [squee]


 * [theme song]


 * Main cast: [groaning]
 * Pinkie Pie: Everypony ready for more?
 * Rainbow Dash: Ugh. My teeth hurt.
 * Fluttershy: [groans]
 * Applejack: I think we've had plenty. And shouldn't you be on your way to pick up Maud from the train station?
 * Pinkie Pie: Oh, but you've only tried half of the flavors, and we have to choose the perfect ones before she gets here so I have time to make more! [chomps]
 * Twilight Sparkle: Maud is your sister. I'm sure she'll love your rock candy. And I'm pretty sure you've made enough. She's only staying for the week.
 * Pinkie Pie: Aw, it's not just for Maud, silly. I'm making candy for all of us!
 * Rest of main cast: [groaning]
 * Pinkie Pie: It's part of a very important, super-duper special tradition that only the closest and bestest of friends can share. We're going to make rock candy necklaces together! [squeals] It all started when Maud and I were fillies on the rock farm. She taught me the Pie family rock candy recipe! It adds a secret ingredient – [whispering] It's rocks! [speaking normally] – And she showed me how to string the pieces to make them into a necklace! And once we were done, we'd trade! Maud and I have been trading necklaces back and forth since I moved to Ponyville. They're a sign that we'll always be best friends! [squee]
 * Applejack: Aw, what a great tradition.
 * Rainbow Dash: Hold on. The secret ingredient is rocks?
 * Pinkie Pie: Yeah. But these are a special kind of rock that Maud discovered.
 * Fluttershy: Oh, what kind of a rock are they?
 * Pinkie Pie: Can't tell ya that, silly! [whispering] It's a secret! [speaking normally] Now that Maud is heading out to get her rocktorate in rock science, this may be our last chance to trade them for a really long time. I can't wait for you all to meet her. I just know that my best Ponyville friends and my best sister friend are gonna become bestest friends! We can make bestest-est friend rock candy necklaces together! She expresses herself through fashion just like Rarity, and she's really smart and loves reading just like Twilight! And she's honest, and loves forest things, and is good at games, and... Well, oh, she's awesome!
 * Rarity: [strained] She sounds amazing, but won't she start worrying if you aren't at the train station when she gets here?
 * Pinkie Pie: She sure will. [gasp] I gotta get out of here!


 * [Tank's gyrocopter buzzing]
 * Winona: [barking]
 * Fluttershy: I sure hope Maud has an appetite.
 * Applejack: Never met a pony or critter who didn't love Granny Smith's apple spiced muffins!
 * Rarity: Oh, it's no use! I simply cannot find anything suitable to wear!
 * Rainbow Dash: I doubt she'll notice what anypony's wearing, so what's the big deal?
 * Rarity: The big deal is that it will be very difficult to show Maud what a strong fashion presence we have in Ponyville if the most fashion-forward pony here can't keep her hat from falling apart!
 * Twilight Sparkle: I think we're all a little nervous about Maud's visit. She's Pinkie Pie's sister, and it's obvious Pinkie really wants us to hit it off. Being able to make those rock candy necklaces together is really important to her. I'm sure everything will be fine–
 * Pinkie Pie: We're heeeere!
 * Twilight Sparkle: Where's Maud?
 * Pinkie Pie: She's coming!
 * [beat]
 * Rainbow Dash: Uh... you sure?
 * Pinkie Pie: She's not quite as fast as me. I asked Gummy to stay with her in case she got lost!
 * [beat]
 * [distant hoofbeats]
 * Rainbow Dash: [whispering] Is she even moving?
 * Pinkie Pie: We're over here, Maud!
 * Maud Pie: [sniffs] [deadpan] Hm. Sedimentary.
 * Rainbow Dash: Huh?
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] This is a sedimentary rock.
 * [beat]
 * Twilight Sparkle: That's... really fascinating, isn't it, girls? We're just so thrilled you could come for a visit before your big trip. Pinkie Pie has told us so much about you. I'm Twilight, and this is Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity.
 * Fluttershy: We're ever so glad to meet you.
 * Applejack: We're just gonna have the best time!
 * [beat]
 * Rarity: Pinkie Pie tells me you share my love for fashion.
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] I'm really into expressing myself through my wardrobe.
 * Rarity: A-and what is the delightful frock you're wearing now saying?
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] It doesn't talk. It's a dress.
 * Rarity: Oh, yes, of course, I, I just meant, the frock is, just... [splutters out]
 * Winona: [barks]
 * Applejack: Uh, so this here's Winona. That's Owlowiscious, Tank, Opal, and Angel. Pinkie Pie told us you have a pet, too.
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] He's in my pocket.
 * Fluttershy: Oh, you have a pocket pet? Like a tiny mouse? Or a baby bird? Or a trained butterfly?
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] It's a rock. His name is Boulder.
 * Pinkie Pie: This is going to be the best, most awesome, funnest week ever! I can't wait for us all to become bestest friends!
 * Rest of main cast: [nervous laughing]


 * Applejack: Maud? Would you like to try one of Granny Smith's famous apple spiced muffins?
 * Maud Pie: [sniffs]
 * Applejack: Oh, uh, heh, that's not– Um...
 * Maud Pie: [chews] [with mouth full] [deadpan] It's crunchy.
 * Pinkie Pie: [chews] [with mouth full] Maud's right! They are crunchy! Yum!
 * Rainbow Dash: So, uh, Pinkie Pie tells us you like games.
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] Boulder and I sometimes play a game called 'Camouflage'. It's kind of like hide and seek but way more intense.
 * [beat]
 * Rainbow Dash: Awesome?


 * [rocks landing]
 * Twilight Sparkle: Any luck?
 * Fluttershy: I truly wish I'd spent more time with Boulder, because I'm having a very hard time remembering what he looks like.
 * Applejack: It's like looking for a pebble in a haystack.
 * Rarity: More like in a pile of pebbles.
 * Applejack: Well, you don't have to make it even harder.
 * Rarity: Ugh! I give up! this is impossible!
 * Twilight Sparkle: It'll hurt Maud's feelings if we all stop playing. Besides, look how much fun Pinkie Pie's having.
 * Pinkie Pie: Is this him? Is this him? Is this him? Is this him?
 * Twilight Sparkle: Just a little longer, okay?
 * Applejack: Uh, alright, fine...
 * Rainbow Dash: [simultaneously] Really?
 * Fluttershy and Rarity: [inaudible comments]
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] Found him.
 * Pinkie Pie: Oh! Where was he?
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] He was hiding in my pocket.
 * Rainbow Dash: Oh, come on!
 * [Tank's gyrocopter creaking]
 * Fluttershy: I don't mean to interrupt, but we really should get these little critters home. It's getting awfully late, and they've had a very busy day.
 * Pinkie Pie: Maud and I had better get going too. I want her to taste the rock candy we're gonna use for our best friends necklaces! Aw, yeah!
 * Applejack: She sure is... different from what I expected.
 * Rainbow Dash: We spent all day digging in the dirt, and he was in her pocket the whole time?!
 * Fluttershy: On the bright side, Boulder seemed really sweet.
 * Rainbow Dash: He's a rock!
 * Twilight Sparkle: Come on, girls. I'm sure Maud was just nervous about meeting all of us.
 * Applejack: Maybe she was just acting a little 'off' because she was shy or somethin'.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Exactly. It must be awfully intimidating to meet all of us at once, especially since we're already such good friends.
 * Rest of main cast: [general agreement]
 * Twilight Sparkle: Maybe if we spend some time with her one-on-one to try to get to know her better, I'm sure we'll be making those best friend rock candy necklaces in no time.


 * Rarity: Where shall we start? I've chosen a few fabrics that I think will be stunning with y–
 * Pinkie Pie: Choices, choices, choices!
 * Rarity: ...Of course, if you don't see anything that speaks to you, I would be happy to suggest–
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] I like this one.
 * Rarity: [laughs] Pinkie Pie didn't tell us you were so funny!
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] What do you mean?
 * Rarity: Oh, well, it's just... I believe that is a dishtowel. [beat] B-b-but it does go very well with your complexion. I'm sure I could work my magic and turn it into something fabulous.
 * Pinkie Pie: Rarity and my sister working together to design something amazing! This is the best day ever!
 * Rarity: Perhaps I could sew all of these together and make you something you'd like.
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] No thanks. One is enough.
 * Pinkie Pie: Doesn't Maud make the coolest scarves?
 * Rarity: Quite...


 * Hummingway: [twittering]
 * Fluttershy: Hello there, Hummingway. I'm ever so happy to see you.
 * Hummingway: [twittering]
 * Pinkie Pie: What's he saying?
 * Fluttershy: He says hello, and he's happy to see us too.
 * Pinkie Pie: I wish I could speak hummingbird. Humm! Hum-m-m-m-m, hum!
 * Fluttershy: [to Maud] These spiders only live in Ponyville, and even though they may look a teeny bit scary, they're actually very sweet and help keep other, more dangerous insects away!
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] I was looking at the rock.
 * Fluttershy: Oh.


 * Pinkie Pie: Thanks again, Fluttershy! Start thinking about which flavors you want to put on your best friend rock candy necklace!
 * Fluttershy: Oh gosh. I'm not sure we're even friends yet.


 * Pinkie Pie: Maud is a total bookworm. She loves poetry!
 * Twilight Sparkle: I've got lots of poetry. Do you read anything by Quilland Ink? Or Flourish Prose?
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] I prefer to read my own poetry.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I'd love to hear some of it!
 * Maud Pie: [clears throat] [deadpan]
 * Rock.
 * You are a rock.
 * Gray.
 * You are gray.
 * Like a rock.
 * Which you are.
 * Rock.
 * I've written thousands.
 * Pinkie Pie: She's so prolific!
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] This next one is about rocks. They're all about rocks.
 * Rocks; these are my rocks.
 * Sediments: make me sedimental.
 * Smooth and round, asleep in the ground.
 * Shades of brown and gray...


 * Applejack: You 'bout done peelin' them apples for the cider, Maud?
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] I think this one is done.
 * Applejack: Oh, uh, yep. That's a very interestin' method you got there. [laughs nervously]
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] Should I peel another?
 * Applejack: No! I mean, nah. I'm sure there's plenty apples in it already.
 * Pinkie Pie: [sniffs] Can we taste it now?
 * Applejack: Sure, why not?
 * Pinkie Pie: [glugs] Wow! That's the best apple cider I've ever had!
 * Applejack: What do you think, Maud?
 * Maud Pie: [sips] [deadpan] It tastes like apples.
 * Pinkie Pie: Told you she was super honest, just like you!
 * Applejack: [nervously] We're practically twins, heh.


 * Rainbow Dash: [grunts]
 * [thud]
 * Rainbow Dash: Yeah! Let's see you beat that! Whooaa!
 * [distant explosion]
 * [splash]
 * Pinkie Pie: That was amazing!
 * Rainbow Dash: Whoa. How'd you do that?
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] I threw it.
 * Rainbow Dash: I guess you won this one, Maud.
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] I'm not really into... 'winning'.
 * Rainbow Dash: [gasps]


 * Pinkie Pie: Great, you're all here! Maud is out looking for rocks, so this is the perfect time for us to set up everything we'll need to make our best friend rock candy necklaces!
 * [beat]
 * Pinkie Pie: What's wrong?
 * Twilight Sparkle: Well, I'm not sure it's the best time to make best friend rock candy necklaces.
 * Pinkie Pie: Why not?
 * Twilight Sparkle: Uh...
 * Rarity: Well, darling, you see...
 * Fluttershy: You're ever so thoughtful to share your special bonding ritual with us, but, uh...
 * Pinkie Pie: But what?
 * Applejack: [sighs] The truth is, we've all been tryin' real hard to get closer to Maud, but, well... maybe some ponies just don't click the way others do.
 * Rest of main cast: [muttered agreement]
 * Applejack: We just wouldn't feel right makin' somethin' that means we're best friends if, well, we aren't.
 * Pinkie Pie: [mane deflates] Oh. Okay. If anypony needs me, I'll be in here trying to figure out what to do with two hundred pounds of rock candy.
 * [door closes]


 * Rarity: I feel awful! Just awful...
 * Fluttershy: Maybe we should have just pretended we were friends with Maud.
 * Twilight Sparkle: If we didn't tell Pinkie Pie that we hadn't all become the best of friends, I think Maud would have.
 * Rainbow Dash: Maybe, but who really knows? That pony is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an igneous.
 * Rarity: Don't you mean "inside an enigma"?
 * Rainbow Dash: Nope. I mean igneous. It's a kind of rock. Ask me how I know that.
 * [knocking]
 * Pinkie Pie: I've come up with just the thing to bring everypony closer together!


 * Pinkie Pie: I call it "Pinkie-Rainbow-Rari-Twi-Apple-Flutter-Maud Fun Time"! [squee]
 * Rainbow Dash: Huh?
 * Pinkie Pie: It combines everypony's interests into one giant activity that we can all enjoy together and that will totally bring all of my bestest friends together as bestestest friends! You'll need these.
 * Rainbow Dash: Like I said: Huh?
 * Pinkie Pie: Probably better for me to show you. Watch this! Applesauce tunnel for Applejack, pretty shiny stuff for Rarity, reading material for Twilight, critter time for Fluttershy...
 * [bear roars]
 * Pinkie Pie: Cupcakes for yours truly... [chomps] and it's a race for Rainbow Dash!
 * Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, what is that?!
 * Pinkie Pie: A rock slide, of course! For Maud! First you climb, then you slide!
 * Applejack: I've got a bad feeling about this...
 * Pinkie Pie: [giggling] Huh? [straining]
 * [rocks rumbling]
 * Rarity: [shrieks]
 * Fluttershy: Oh, goodness!
 * Pinkie Pie: [straining]
 * Applejack: Watch out!
 * Pinkie Pie: Huh? [shrieks] Help! [straining]
 * [jackhammer sounds]
 * Rest of main cast: [sighs]
 * Rainbow Dash: What– how– what?!
 * Maud Pie: Pinkie Pie, what were you thinking?
 * Pinkie Pie: I guess I wasn't.
 * Maud Pie: I know how important it is to you that your friends become my friends, but I just don't think it's going to happen. I think it would be best if I just go back to the rock farm and spend the rest of the week there. It was nice to meet you all. Makes me happy knowing Pinkie Pie has such good friends.
 * Pinkie Pie: But... we never even got to make our rock candy necklaces... Wait, Maud! I'll come with you!
 * Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe Maud cut her trip short.
 * Rarity: I can't believe we nearly lost Pinkie Pie to that ridiculous obstacle course.
 * Fluttershy: Thank goodness Maud was able to reach her in time.
 * Rainbow Dash: Did you see how fast Maud moved?
 * Rarity: And the way she smashed that huge rock into dust? How in Equestria did she do that?
 * Fluttershy: Pinkie Pie was in trouble! Maud would move mountains for her if she had to.
 * Twilight Sparkle: That's it! I think I finally realized what we all have in common with Maud! Something that just might be worthy of a very important super-duper special tradition that only the closest and bestest of friends can share!


 * [train engine noises]
 * Maud Pie: Thank you for coming with me. I don't know how long I'll be gone on my rock research trip. I'm glad I still get to spend some time with you before I go.
 * Pinkie Pie: Me too. I'm sorry I put so much pressure on everypony to bond. I only wanted my friends to get to know my amazing older sister.


 * Pinkie Pie: What are you doing here?
 * Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, we're so sorry we hurt your feelings by not bonding with Maud right away. And Maud, we're sorry that you felt the only way to spare Pinkie Pie's feelings was to leave Ponyville early.
 * Rest of main cast: Mm-hm.
 * Applejack: We've seen how much you care about Pinkie Pie firsthoof.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie's happiness means as much to us as it does to you, and we're sorry we couldn't see it sooner. The thing that makes us click and creates a special bond between us is how much we all love Pinkie Pie!
 * Pinkie Pie: Aw, shucks!
 * Twilight Sparkle: That's a pretty great thing to have in common, if you ask me. What do you think, Maud?
 * Maud Pie: Sure.
 * [beat]
 * Pinkie Pie: What's wrong?
 * Rarity: Sorry, darling. I think we all just thought she'd be a bit more excited about this.
 * Pinkie Pie: Are you kidding me? I've never seen her more excited in my entire life!
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't show my enthusiasm for things quite in the same way my sister does.
 * Rainbow Dash: Uh, we noticed. And we're totally cool with it.
 * Rest of main cast: [agreement]


 * [train engine noises]
 * Twilight Sparkle: Maud, we'd like to give you something to take on your trip, so that you remember all your friends from Ponyville.
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] Thank you.
 * Pinkie Pie: Try not to eat all the candy before you leave! [chewing]
 * Twilight Sparkle: Are those all the necklaces Pinkie Pie sent you?
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] Mm-hm.
 * Twilight Sparkle: You haven't eaten any of them?
 * Maud Pie: [deadpan] I don't really like candy. But I do love Pinkie Pie.
 * Pinkie Pie: [chewing]
 * Pinkie Pie: Mmm! Jebediah Townhouse: Hmm hmm,


 * [credits]