Transcripts/The Point of No Return


 * [zoom]
 * Spike: Whoa!
 * [thud!]
 * Spike: Twilight, mail's here!
 * [doors opening]
 * Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
 * [squeak]
 * Twilight Sparkle: Are you all right?
 * Derpy: We just had a really heavy delivery today.
 * Spike: Is it a deluxe set of special edition Ogres & Oubliettes figurines that I'm totally surprised by and have been hinting that I need forever?
 * Derpy: Well, it's for Twilight.
 * Spike: Awww...
 * Twilight Sparkle: Thank you.
 * Derpy: You're welcome!
 * Twilight Sparkle: Huh. It's from Princess Celestia.
 * Spike: [belches] So is this. Really? She couldn't have put it into the box?
 * Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "My dearest Twilight, I have been conducting a thorough cleaning of the castle, and I came across a few items of yours in your old room. I thought you might want them back." I didn't even know I'd left anything! Awww, look! Remember this? It's the macaroni picture frame Cadance helped me make when I was a filly!
 * Spike: [quietly, sarcastic] Who could forget a masterpiece like that?
 * Twilight Sparkle: My G1 Star Swirl figure! And some of my favorite school scrolls! And here's my extra extra credit report on "The Impediments of Using Magic in Everyday Chores"! Ha! Still so true!
 * Spike: Is my Smash Fortune comic in there? I've been looking for that for years. Whoa, whoa!
 * [thud]
 * Spike: [muffled] Or this.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
 * Spike: What's wrong? It just looks like an old library book.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Exactly! It belongs to the Canterlot Library! That means it's... overdue!


 * [theme song]


 * Twilight Sparkle: You don't understand, Spike! I have a perfect library book return record!
 * Spike: [clears throat] Had a perfect record.
 * Twilight Sparkle: [groans] I've never turned in a book even a minute late! And this one has been overdue since I left for Ponyville!


 * [stamping]
 * Dusty Pages: Make sure you bring this one back on time. We've got a long waiting list of ponies who can't wait to read it.
 * Twilight Sparkle: I promise I won't let you down!
 * Dusty Pages: Oh, of course, you won't, dear. If there's anypony I can trust to take care of a book, it's you, Twilight Sparkle. After all, you still hold the "Best Book Borrower" title.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Oooh! I hope I do forever!


 * Twilight Sparkle: Spi-ike! Quick, find me that old copy of Predictions and Prophecies. What's that for?
 * Spike: Well, it was a gift for Moon Dancer, but...
 * Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Spike, you know we don't have time for that sort of thing.


 * Twilight Sparkle: And then Celestia sent me to Ponyville, and I forgot all about this! Dusty Pages prided herself that no books were damaged or lost on her watch, and I failed her! I failed myself!
 * Spike: I take it we're going to Canterlot?
 * [zip!]
 * Spike: [groans] The sooner, the better, I guess.


 * Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
 * [leaves rustling]
 * Spike: Uh, why are we hiding? Don't you wanna return your book?
 * Twilight Sparkle: Yes. But what if somepony sees me in there? I'm the Princess of Friendship. Everywhere I go, ponies recognize me. I'll stick out like a sore hoof.
 * Spike: [incredulously] Princess Twilight Sparkle in a library? Stop the presses!
 * Twilight Sparkle: A late book is a big deal, Spike. What if Dusty Pages revokes my library card? Or bans me from ever entering the building again?!
 * Spike: Don't you already have most of those books in your collection at home?
 * Twilight Sparkle: Yes, but the ones in there have a special Canterlot Library-y smell!
 * Spike: You sniff books?
 * Twilight Sparkle: You don't? I used to live in a library. If I'm not a good example of proper book borrowing behavior, then what kind of princess am I?
 * Spike: One that makes mistakes like everypony else. Trust me. Once you return that book, you'll feel way better.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Thanks, Spike. Let's go! [screams, giggles nervously]
 * Spike: [groans]


 * [teleportation zaps]
 * Twilight Sparkle: [gasps, clears throat, deep voice] I have a book to return.
 * Librarian Pony: Princess Twilight! So good to see you!
 * Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
 * Librarian Pony: Need some recommendations from the new release section?
 * Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Is that the new edition of Mooncurve's Seven Theories on Bending Time? I have been waiting for the release sin— Uh, I mean, uh, no books today! [chuckles] Thanks!
 * [ponies gasp]
 * Twilight Sparkle: But I do need to speak with Dusty Pages about a... [clears throat] sensitive matter.
 * Librarian Pony: Dusty who?
 * Twilight Sparkle: [nervous laugh] Dusty Pages? The head librarian? She's worked here forever.
 * Librarian Pony: I'm sorry, princess. I don't know her. Now, was there some other way I can help the library's Best Book Borrower?
 * Twilight Sparkle: [nervous giggle]
 * Spike: [hushed] Just ask where to return an overdue book! It's no big deal! It happens all the time!
 * Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Not to me it doesn't! [sighs] Fine. Fine! Oh, no! I didn't even think about the late fine! A book out this long will probably cost a thousand bits!
 * Spike: She— I mean, we have an overdue book.
 * Librarian Pony: [laughs] Well, that's no problem at all. In fact, it happens all the time.
 * Spike: See?
 * Librarian Pony: I'll just find it in the card catalog. Uh, number one-eight-nine-oh-five, got it! [laughs] Oh, wow. Yeesh. I haven't seen a book this late in... well, ever. [clears throat] You need to go and see First Folio in the Grossly Overdue Book Return Office for Ponies Who Should Know Better.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Don't pull any punches with those names, do you?
 * Spike: And that office would be...?
 * Librarian Pony: In the basement. [whispering] Because of the shame.
 * [thud]


 * Spike: Whoa. [strains] Looks like nopony ever goes down here.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Nopony except undependable rule-breakers who deserve all the horrors this hallway holds!
 * Spike: And faithful dragon companions. Uh... hey! It looks like First Folio left a note on the door!
 * Twilight Sparkle: "Abandon hope, all ye who enter"?
 * Spike: [reading] "Out to lunch on Restaurant Row." Guess we'll have to try back later!
 * Twilight Sparkle: No! I can't wait another minute to return this book! In the time it took us to get there, I racked up another... seventeen bits in late fees! We're going to lunch!
 * Spike: Good, 'cause I'm starving! [licks lips]
 * [beat]
 * Spike: Oh. You mean to find First Folio. Can we at least get takeout?!


 * Twilight Sparkle: Tell me if you see any librarian-type ponies.
 * Spike: Twilight, we tried this at three other restaurants already!
 * Twilight Sparkle: And my late fines are already up another twenty-six more bits!
 * Spike: [mock-sobbing]
 * Pretzel: Waiter, we're ready to order.
 * Spike: Oh, uh, I'm not actually—
 * Pretzel: Three samosas, two curry specials... Do you think that's enough for the two of us?
 * Spike: Hm. Well, I would probably order some naan as well. For the table?
 * Pretzel: Sounds great.
 * Moon Dancer: Twilight? Is that you?
 * Twilight Sparkle: Moon Dancer! How've you been? I'm just visiting. No real reason. Heh.
 * Moon Dancer: Well, it's good to see you! I'm just meeting my friend, First Folio, for lunch. Do you want to join us?
 * Twilight Sparkle: First Folio?! Yes! I mean, thank you.
 * First Folio: Princess Twilight, good to meet you! Did you know your picture is still up in our library as the Best Book Borrower?
 * Twilight Sparkle: Yeah... I was hoping I could talk to Dusty Pages about that.
 * Moon Dancer: Oh, Dusty Pages left the library moons ago. Didn't you know?
 * Twilight Sparkle: Mm-mm.
 * First Folio: Oh, I heard she was forced to leave. It's so sad. She loved the library.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Wait. Forced to leave?
 * First Folio: Yuh-huh, uh-huh, yeah. She had a perfect librarian record. Until one careless pony didn't return a book, ruined it all.
 * Moon Dancer: Are you okay, Twilight?
 * Twilight Sparkle: [nervously] Uh-huh. Would, uh, you excuse me?
 * [whoosh]
 * [spinning]
 * Spike: That's why you only order spicy if you can take it. Twilight, what's wrong?
 * Twilight Sparkle: Dusty Pages isn't working at the library any more because I didn't return this book! Spike, I think I got her fired!


 * [brake skids]
 * Spike: Twilight, the library is that way!
 * Twilight Sparkle: Change of plans. We're going to Dusty's house. She used to invite me over for tea all the time.
 * Spike: But what about your late fees?
 * Twilight Sparkle: They're not as important as making things right.
 * Spike: Wait. So you're not going to return the book?
 * Twilight Sparkle: No. Dusty Pages is. It's my fault she lost her job. So if I give her the book, she can get her old job back. It'll fix everything! [sighs]
 * [knocking]
 * [door opens]
 * Meathead Pony: Didn't you see the sign? No salesponies!
 * Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I'm not selling anything.
 * Meathead Pony: No carolers either. No surveys, no petitions, no free literature...
 * [thud]
 * Twilight Sparkle: No problem. I'm just looking for somepony who used to live here. I'm pretty sure this was her house.
 * Meathead Pony: Dusty Pages?
 * Twilight Sparkle: Yes!
 * Meathead Pony: Hold on. She moved to... Silver somethin'. Shoals, Seas, Surfer, whatever. When you find her, give her this.
 * [thud]
 * Meathead Pony: It's been stackin' up for years! And tell her to change her address!
 * [door slams]


 * [montage music]
 * [knocking]


 * [squeaking]


 * Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "Silver Stable Community: For the best golden years." This has to be it!
 * Spike: I hope so. It's the last "Silver" spot on the map we haven't looked.
 * [door opens]
 * Spike: [straining] [gasps] Whoa! This place is—
 * Twilight Sparkle: Terrible, I know! There's not a single bookshelf in sight!
 * Sand Trap: [snoring]
 * Twilight Sparkle: Poor Dusty... [to receptionist] Excuse me!
 * "Teddie Safari": Yes, how may I help you?
 * Twilight Sparkle: Do you have a resident named Dusty Pages?
 * "Teddie Safari": Oh, yes. Her apartment is in the next complex, ground floor.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Thank you!


 * Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe that my carelessness sent her here, when she could be happily surrounded by millions of wonderful-smelling books!
 * Spike: You realize that might just be a you thing, right?
 * Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] There she is! Here we go. [exhales]
 * [knocking]
 * [long pause]
 * [watch ticking]
 * Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
 * Spike: She's bound to be back soon. Maybe we should just wait here.
 * Twilight Sparkle: No. We are fixing this now. This place isn't that big. We can find her.


 * Twilight Sparkle: Sorry to interrupt your plein air painting, but we're looking for Dusty Pages. Have you seen her?
 * Apple Rose: Sure have!
 * [beat]
 * Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] And...?
 * Apple Rose: She had to leave early to get to her fengbi de ti session.
 * Old Stallion: Which is right before she leads the woodworking class with me. Then she's on to windsurfing.
 * Apple Rose: Ooh, and don't forget theatre rehearsal! Dusty's playing the lead role. Again.
 * Old Stallion: Then there's her band practice later.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Thank you!
 * Spike: Wow. Dusty sounds like one busy pony.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Oh, she's just filling her days with distractions to cover the pain of losing the best job ever! But not for long!


 * [montage music]
 * [gate swinging]


 * [teleportation zap]
 * [hammer tapping]
 * [door shuts and opens]


 * [splash]
 * [more splashes]


 * [door opens]


 * [door opens]
 * [band playing music]
 * Twilight Sparkle: Dusty Pages, finally! Come on, Spike!
 * Spike: Wait. She looks pretty happy up there.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Trust me, it's all an act. She'll be a lot happier when I deliver the news that she can go back to working at the library!
 * [music abruptly stops]
 * Twilight Sparkle: Care to take five, everypony?
 * Dusty Pages: Ah! Twilight Sparkle?! My stars! It's so wonderful to see you! What are you doing here?
 * Twilight Sparkle: I've been looking all over Equestria for you!
 * [thud]
 * Twilight Sparkle: I need to tell you something.
 * Dusty Pages: Well, you brought my mail! Oh, thank you! [chuckles]
 * Twilight Sparkle: No. I mean, yes, we did, but that's not why we're here. I let you down, and I can't forgive myself until I set things right.
 * Dusty Pages: I don't remember you doing anything wrong.
 * Twilight Sparkle: You told me to take care of a special book I checked out from the Canterlot Library, and I never brought it back!
 * Dusty Pages: [gasps] It was you that had that book out? The one that broke my perfect record?
 * Twilight Sparkle: But now you can bring it to Canterlot Library and get your job back!
 * Dusty Pages: No, thank you! I don't ever need to see that library again! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have somewhere to be.


 * [band playing music]
 * Spike: [snapping fingers]
 * Twilight Sparkle: Do you mind?
 * [music pauses, continues softly]
 * Spike: [slurping]
 * Twilight Sparkle: I don't understand. If Dusty Pages won't go back to Canterlot Library and explain everything, then she won't be able to get her job back. Even worse, her record will remain imperfect!
 * Spike: And yours will, too?
 * Twilight Sparkle: Well, yeah! But that doesn't matter any more!
 * Spike: [dryly] Really?
 * Twilight Sparkle: Well, maybe a little bit. Oh, no, bits! The late fines! How much do I owe now?!
 * [abacus clicking]
 * Spike: Uhhh... you don't wanna know.
 * Twilight Sparkle: [groans] It would've been worth all the bits in Equestria if I had made things right with Dusty! I wish I knew why she won't go back!
 * Spike: Why don't you ask her?
 * Twilight Sparkle: She didn't seem to want to talk.
 * Spike: You surprised her, and she probably had something else on her schedule. That thing is packed! Come on. What have you got to lose?
 * Twilight Sparkle: Now that I've messed up this much? Nothing. You're right, Spike. It's worth a try. Where do you think she went? Crochet? Bingo?


 * [splat]
 * Twilight Sparkle: A squishy fruit food-fight tournament?!
 * [splats]
 * Spike: Hey, everypony! We come in—
 * [splat]
 * Spike: Eh, pieces.
 * [splats]
 * [teleportation zap]
 * [splats]
 * Twilight Sparkle: Stop! We just want to talk to Dusty Pages for a moment! Please?
 * Dusty Pages: Time out! [to Twilight] Next time, you should rent gear.
 * Spike: We're not actually here for the game.
 * Twilight Sparkle: I was hoping you'd give me another chance to talk to you about the library book.
 * Dusty Pages: [sighs] This really means a lot to you, doesn't it?
 * Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hmm. I know I ruined your life by not returning my book on time, and I will do anything I can to make it up to you. Even promise to never take a book out of a library again, if that's what it takes.
 * [ponies gasp]
 * Dusty Pages: [laughs]
 * Spike: That is not the reaction we expected.
 * Dusty Pages: Twilight, dear, you've got it all backwards! I'm not upset with you!
 * Twilight Sparkle: You're not?
 * Dusty Pages: No! If I'm mad at anypony, it's me.
 * [tapping]
 * Dusty Pages: All those years I spent hiding away in that library, trying to be perfect. When your book never came in, I felt something exhilarating!
 * Twilight Sparkle: What was it?
 * Dusty Pages: Freedom.
 * Spike: From books?
 * Dusty Pages: From perfection! I was too stubborn to know when to call it quits! It took your mistake to make me realize that I wasn't living the life I wanted!
 * Twilight Sparkle: You mean you weren't fired? You left the library because you wanted to?
 * Dusty Pages: Twilight, your late book was the best thing that ever happened to me. Now I'm not afraid to try things I might fail at. In fact, sometimes messing up teaches me more than getting it right!
 * Twilight Sparkle: You're sure you don't want to return it and get that perfect record back?
 * [splat]
 * Twilight Sparkle: [strangled scream]
 * Dusty Pages: Ah, good. It was a yellow one. You can still see the words.
 * Twilight Sparkle: But it'll have a stain!
 * Dusty Pages: That doesn't change the truth inside it. Wait. Did you even read that thing?
 * Twilight Sparkle: Actually, uh, no, I guess I didn't.
 * [splat]
 * Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "Perfection".
 * Dusty Pages: And the next part?
 * Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "The Impossible Pursuit".
 * Spike and Dusty Pages: [laughing]
 * Twilight Sparkle: Oh. That might've been useful to look at earlier.


 * First Folio: Uh-huh... Your total late fees come to...
 * Twilight Sparkle: However much it is, I'll cover it. Uh, do you have a monthly payment plan?
 * First Folio: Twenty-eight bits.
 * Twilight Sparkle and Spike: [gasps]
 * Spike: That's it?!
 * First Folio: Yah-huh. Most ponies don't know that it caps at a month. Probably 'cause we don't tell them. [snorts]
 * [bits clinking]
 * First Folio: Thank you. Your account is back to normal. Although we will be taking down your Best Book Borrower picture.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Um, is that really necessary? Heh. It just seems so permanent. Heh. I mean, I did return the book, after all.
 * Spike: [clears throat]
 * Twilight Sparkle: Okay. Letting the perfection go. [sighs] You want me to reshelve this for you?
 * First Folio: No, it's an old edition. We've already replaced it with a new copy.
 * Spike: In that case, can we keep it? It might be a good reminder to have around.
 * First Folio: You sure? It's got a stain.
 * Twilight Sparkle: That's what makes it perfect.


 * [credits]